The End of a Love Affair

I have a love other than my husband. A love that is so strong, we cannot be away from each other for one day or I have withdrawals. Oh…that isn’t love? That’s an addiction?

I'll even drink whatever this is... (These were actually really delicious candy covered cappuccinos)

Okay then, I have an addiction. I am absolutely, completely, utterly addicted and in love with …coffee. I drink it all day, everyday. I love black coffee, coffee with soymilk, iced coffee, hot coffee, latte’s, macchiatos, cappuccinos, espressos, and even frappuchinos on occasion. I love it all. I love the taste, the smell, of course the wake-me-up affect, and just the process of walking into a loud coffee shop and yelling out my drink. After I pick up my drink, before I even take my first sip, I am happy. Whatever is going on in my day, my life, it goes away for a split second and is replaced with pure bliss because I know that I am about to drink happiness.

My mom bought me this magnet when I got my first apartment.... Enough said.

I am a coffee fiend. When I wake up in the morning, my first thought is, “coffee? coffee? where’s my coffee?” My biggest nightmare is waking up and hearing my husband say “Oh, yeah, we’re out of coffee,” because then I will have to wait until I am showered and ready to go out the door before I can have my first sip. And on those days, I’m moody. Extremely moody. On days where I’ve had to wait 2, 3, 4 hours before having my coffee, most people in my life know to steer clear until we can go through a starbucks drive-through.

My daily routine is as follows, I get the coffee pot ready the night before every workday. I put the freshly ground coffee in the filter and the water in the coffee pot, so all I have to do in the morning is press “on.” Five minutes later I’m sipping happy. Then, I shower, get ready and head to work. Once I’m at work, I head downstairs to meet a friend for…wait for it…coffee. We head to the starbucks located inside my building and depending on how I’m feeling I order either a grande or a venti coffee beverage of some sort.

The "Gold Card"

I have a starbucks rewards card that I continually re-fill so I can get a free drink after every 15 purchases and the baristas all know me by name. I once added up how much money I’ve spent on Starbucks in the past year based on how many free drink coupons I’ve received in the mail. The amount was astonishing and I vowed to never count that number again.

If I’m really having a rough day, I head down to starbucks for a second time around 2:30. Usually for a sweet drink that is loaded with sugar and empty calories, but it. tastes.so.good.

So, last Wednesday when I woke up not feeling well enough to go to work, I called in sick to the office and crawled back into bed. I slept for a few more hours and woke up around 9:00. I went out to the living room to rest on the couch and stared longingly at the coffee pot. I thought to myself “coffee probably won’t help my stomach ache/exhaustion so I guess I’ll pass today.” Not to mention I felt too tired to get up and push the ‘on’ button anyway. My plan was to stay in bed/on the couch for the remainder of the day and get some rest. I fell back asleep again around 1:00. I woke up an hour later with a pounding headache. I am not prone to migraines but to me, this was a migraine. I was miserable. “I must be dying,” I thought to myself. Then I realized, I was having withdrawals. Over the years I have come to recognize what a “caffeine headache” feels like, but I always know just how to fix them. Drink a cup of coffee, duh! In this case, I didn’t want to. I wanted the headache to go away, but I also wanted to feel better and be able to sleep as much so I refrained. I tried advil, lots and lots of water, and sleep. Nothing worked. Basically, I went to sleep that night with the same headache I had at 2:00pm that afternoon.

Thursday morning I woke up headache free, and decided to skip the caffeine again because I thought “maybe this is good for me.” Not to mention I’ve been under a little stress lately and thought the caffeine would only make me more high-strung. So I went another day. And by noon the headache was back and I was on to the advil and massaging my temples as I worked.

Then it was day 3. I thought..”Okay, it’s been 2 days already, why not keep this up. The headaches are gone..I can do this. Bring.It.On.”  But they weren’t gone. They came back each day, just later and later in the days. I took my advil and went on with my day.

I am now on day 5, which is a day I never thought I’d see. I felt good this morning. I woke up, jumped out of bed and didn’t look back. I had energy…without drinking coffee. I think that means I had real engery. Not that simulated, fake energy that caffeine makes you think you have. But real energy. I’ve kept it up all day long and despite a slight pain that is lingering in the back of my head, I feel damn good. Soon the headaches will completely subside and I will no longer be a prisoner to this addiction that I believed was true love. Yes, I will miss all the wonderful things I listed above, but I won’t miss being addicted to something that made me moody and unpleasant in it’s absence. Nor will I miss the afternoon headaches when I haven’t had enough,the stained teeth, or the coffee breath!

My good friend and fellow blogger Britt Hedin has decided to quit with me and is slowly weaning herself off of coffee and energy drinks too. Click here to check out her blog- she might even post about quitting coffee!

I believe this could be the end of a love affair….

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6 thoughts on “The End of a Love Affair

  1. Pingback: Caffeine Ca-put?????? « Just a little Brit

  2. well-written post, you have defined my life! and may have just inspired me enough to lay off the grounds for a while…I’ll be looking forward to reading about your success!

  3. I stumbled upon your friend Britt’s blog today on the freshly pressed page and she tagged this post in one of hers. I am glad I clicked on it because I loved this post! It described many people I know. I see my friends going through the daily motions of their coffee addictions too and the moodiness and headaches when they can’t get any and I am thankful I never got hooked. That is not to say that I am not a regular Starbucks visitor, because I most definitely am, however I don’t always do coffee. I see you posted this a while ago but I wanted to inquire on your progress up to this point? Are you still coffee free? :) Keep up the good writing! It was a very entertaining read!

    • Wow, such a nice comment! Thank you! The truth is, no- I am not coffee free anymore. Although it did last a few months, I am back on the liquid crack. The good thing is, I am no longer addicted like I once was. I mostly drink decaf or half-calf and I only drink it once in the morning as opposed to all day long like I used to. On occasion, usually just the weekends, I will have a fully caffeinated soy latte (my favorite) as a special treat. But reading this post of yours has reminded me of my mission and inspired me to cut back once again. I didn’t do all that work to go right back to my bad habits! Thanks for reading and thanks for your lovely comment! It is great to hear that someone has enjoyed my writing!

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